"His Penis Got Diseases"
Efter att ha grävt i bajs en massa idag, vill jag göra något trevligare, så jag sitter och kollar igenom alla sångerna ur det näst bästa avsnittet av Buffy, nämligen musikalavsnittet Once More With Feeling.
Bästa avsnittet någonsin är förövrigt The Body, ett av det bästa inom all tv om hur det verkligen känns att förlora någon man älskar mer än livet själv, chocken och sorgen.
Men hursomhelst. En del av dem är tyvärr spegelvända, men det är sådant man får leva med när det är copyright på dem.
Den bästa är nog Something To Sing About mycket för att The Scooby Gang får veta hur otroligt själviska och elaka de var mot Buffy när de återuppväckte henne från de döda.
1. Going Through The Motions
BUFFY
Every single night
The same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight
Still, I always feel the strange estrangement
Nothing here is real
Nothing here is right
I've been making shows of trading blows
Just hoping no one knows
That I've been going through the motions
Walking through the part
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart
I was always brave and kind of righteous
Now I find I'm wavering
Crawl out of your grave
You find this fight just doesn't mean a thing
VAMPIRE 1
She ain't got that swing
BUFFY
Thanks for noticing
VAMPIRE1, VAMPIRE2, DEMON
She does pretty well with fiends from hell
But lately, we can tell
That she's just going through the motions
(Going through the motions)
Faking it some how
DEMON
She's not even half the girl she - ow.
BUFFY
Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?
MAN
How can I repay - -
BUFFY
Whatever.
I don't want to be
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I can't even see
If this is really me
And I just want to be
Alive!
2. I've Got a Theory / Bunnies / If We're Together
3. The Mustard
4. Under Your Spell
I lived my life in shadow
Never the sun on my face
It didn't seem so sad, though
I figured that was my place
Now I'm bathed in light
Something just isn't right
I'm under your spell
How else could it be
Anyone would notice me?
It's magic, I can tell
How you've set me free
Brought me out so easily
I saw a world enchanted
Spirits and charms in the air
I always took for granted
I was the only one there
But your power's shone
Brighter than any of i've known.
I'm under your spell
Nothing I can do
You just took my soul with you
You worked your charms so well
Finally, I knew
Everything I dreamed was true
You make me complete!
Ahhhh, ahhh, ahhh.
The moon to the tide
I can feel you inside
I'm under your spell
Surging like the sea
Drawn to you so helplessly
I break with every swell
Lost in ecstasy
Spread beneath my willow tree
You make me complete!
You make me complete
You make me complete!!!
5. I'll Never Tell
Anya
This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine!
But I'm out of the biz
The name I made, I'll trade for his
The only trouble is - -
I'll never tell.
Xander
She is the one
She's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight - -
Embrace! Tight embrace!
I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - -
No... I'll never tell.
Anya & Xander
Cause there's nothing to tell.
Anya
He snores
Xander
She wheezes
Anya
Say "housework" and he freezes
Xander
She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe
Anya
I talk; he breezes
Xander
She doesn't know what please is.
Anya
His penis got diseases from a shuman's tribe!
Anya & Xander
The vibe gets kind of scary
Xander
Like, she thinks I'm ordinary
Anya
Like, it's all just temporary
Xander
Like, her toes are kind of hairy
Anya & Xander
But it's all very well
Cause, God knows, I'll never tell!
Anya
When things get rough, he
Just hides behind his Buffy!
Now look, he's getting huffy
Cause he knows that I know.
Xander
She clings
She's needy
She's also really greedy
She nev - -
Anya
His eyes are beady!
Xander
This is my verse, hello?
She - -
Anya
Hey, look at me! I'm dancing crazy!
Anya AND Xander
You know
Xander
You're quite the charmer
Anya
My knight in armor
Xander
You're the cutest of the Scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm, yet supple - -
Tight embrace!
Anya
He's swell
Xander
She's sweller
Anya
He'll always be my fella
Xander
That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified
Anya
I've read this tale
There's wedding, then betrayal
I know will come the day I'll want to run and hide
Anya & Xander
I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried
But there's these fears I can't quell
Xander
Is she looking for a pot of gold
Anya
Will I look good when I've gotten old?
Xander
Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful?
Anya
When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley?
Xander
Am I crazy?
Anya
Am I dreamin'?
Xander
Am I marrying a demon?
Anya & Xander
We can really raise the beam on making marriage a hell!
So, thank God, I'll never tell!
I swear, that I'll never tell
Xander
My lips are sealed
Anya
I take the fifth
Xander
Nothing to see
Move it along
Anya & Xander
I'll never
Tell!
6. The Parking Ticket
Young woman:
I´ve been having a bad, bad day
Come on, won´t you put that pad away
I´m asking you please, no
It isn´t right, it isn´t fair
There was no parking anywhere
I think that hydrant wasn´t there
Why can´t you let it go
I think I´ve paid more than my share
I´m just a poor girl don´t you care
Hey, I´m not wearing underwear
7. Rest In Peace
I died
So many years ago
But you can make me feel
Like it isn't so
And why you come to be with me
I think I finally now
Mhmmm
You're scared
Ashamed of what you feel
And you can't tell the ones you love
You know they couldn't deal
Whisper in a dead man's ear
Doesn't make it real
That's great
But I don't wanna play
Being with you touches me
More than I can take
And since I'm only dead to you
I'm saying stay away
And let me rest in peace
Let me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it in a hole six foot deep
I can lay my body down but I can't find my sweet release
So let me rest in peace
You know
You got a willing slave
And you just love to play the thought
That you might misbehave
But til you do I'm telling you
Stop visiting my grave
And let me rest in peace
I know
I should go
But I follow you like a man possessed
There's a traitor here beneath my breast
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed
If my heart could beat it would break my chest
But I can see you're unimpressed
So leave me be
And let me rest in peace
Let me get some sleep
Let me take my love and bury it in a hole six foot deep
I can lay my body down but I can't find my sweet release
Let me rest in peace
Why won't you
Let me rest in peace
8. Dawn's Lament
9. Dawn's Ballet
10. What You Feel
Sweets:
Why'd you run away?
Don't you like my style?
Why don't you come and play?
I guarantee a great big smile
I come from the imagination
And I'm here strictly by your invocation
So what do you say?
Why don't we dance awhile?
I'm the hottest swing
I'm the twist and shout
When you gotta sing,
When you gotta let it out
You call me and I come a-running
I turn the music on; I bring the fun in
Now, we're partying
That's what it's all about
'Cuz I know, what you feel, girl
I know just what you feel, girl
Dawn: (spoken)
Oh, so you're like a good demon? Bringing the fun in?
Sweets:
(Laughs)
All these melodies, they go on too long
Then that energy starts to come on way too strong
All those hearts lay open; that must sting
Plus, some customers just die combusting
That's the penalty when life is but a song
You brought me down and doomed this town
So, when we blow this scene,
Back we will go to my kingdom below and you will be my queen
Cuz I know what you feel, girl
Dawn:
No, you see
You and me
Wouldn't be very regal
Sweets:
I'll make it real, girl
Dawn:
What I mean
I'm fifteen
So, this queen thing's illegal
Sweets:
I can bring whole cities to ruin
And still have time to get a soft-shoe in
Dawn:
Well, that's great
But I'm late
And I'd hate to delay her
Sweets:
Something's cooking, I'm at the griddle
I bought Nero his very first fiddle
Dawn:
She'll get pissed
If I'm missed
See, my sister's the Slayer...
(Spoken) Sweets:
The Slayer?
Dawn:
Yuh-huh.
Sweets:
Find her. Tell her...tell her everything. Just get her here. I want to see the Slayer burn.
Sweets:
Now we're partying
That's what it's all about
You're not ready
For the world outside
You keep pretending,
but you just can't hide
I know I said that I'd
Be standing by your side
But I
Your path's unbeaten,
And it's all uphill
And you can meet it,
But you never will
And I'm the reason that you're standing still
But I
I wish I could say
The right words
To lead you through this land
Wish I could play the father
And take you by the hand
Wish I could stay here
But now I understand
I'm standing in the way
The cries around you,
You don't hear at all
'Cause you know I'm here
To take that call
So you just lie there when
You should be standing tall
But I
I wish I could
Lay your arms down
And let you rest at last
Wish I could
Slay your demons
But now that time has passed
Wish I could stay here
Your stalwart, standing fast
But I'm
Standing in the way
I'm just standing
In the way
12. Standing/Under your spell Reprise
13. Walk Through The Fire
BUFFY
I touch the fire and it freezes me
I look into it and it's black
Why can't I feel?
My skin should crack and peel
I want the fire back
Now, through the smoke she calls to me
To make my way across the flame
To save the day or maybe melt away
I guess it's all the same
So, I will walk through the fire
Cause where else will I turn?
I will walk through the fire
And let it
SPIKE
The torch I bear is scorching me
Buffy's laughing I've no doubt
I hope she fries
I'm free if that bitch dies!
I better help her out.
DEMON
Cause she is drawn to the fire
Some people
SPIKE
She will
SPIKE, DEMON
never learn
And she will walk through the fire
And let it
GILES
Will this do a thing to change her?
Am I leaving Dawn in danger?
Is my slayer too far gone to care?
XANDER
What if Buffy can't defeat it?
ANYA
Beady Eyes is right
We're needed!
...Or we could just sit around and glare
ANYA, XANDER, WILLOW, GILES, TARA
We'll see it through
It's what we're always here to do
So, we will walk through the fire...
BUFFY
So one by one, they turn from me
I guess my friends can't face the cold
TARA
What can't we face...
BUFFY
But while I froze, not one among them knows
TARA
...Together
BUFFY
And never can be told.
ANYA
She came from the grave much graver.
DEMON
So one by one they come to me
The distant redness as their guide
SPIKE
First, he'll kill her, then I'll save her
TARA
Everything is turning out so dark
BUFFY
Going through the motions
DEMON
But what they find
Ain't what they had in mind
It's what they have inside
BUFFY
Walking through the part
SPIKE
No, I'll save her, then I'll kill her
WILLOW
I think this line is mostly filler
GILES
What's it going to take to strike a spark?
DEMON
She will come to me
BUFFY
These endless days are finally ending in a blaze
BUFFY, XANDER, WILLOW, ANYA, GILES, SPIKE, TARA
And we are caught in the fire
At the point of no return
So we will walk through the fire
And let it
Burn
Let it burn
Let it burn
Let it burn!
DEMON
Show time (haha)
14. Something To Sing About
Buffy:
Life's a show and we all play our parts
And when the music starts,
We open up our hearts
It's all right if some things come out wrong.
We'll sing a happy song
And you can sing along.
Where's there's life, there's hope.
Everyday's a gift.
Wishes can come true.
Whistle while you work.
So hard
All day
To be like other girls
To fit in in this glittering world
Don't give me songs
Don't give me songs
Give me something to sing about.
I need something to sing about.
Life's a song you don't get to rehearse
And every single verse
Can make it that much worse
Still my friends
Don't know why I ignore
The million things or more
I should be dancing for
All the joy life sends.
Family and friends.
All the twists and bends
Knowing that it ends.
Well that
Depends-
On if they let you go
On if they know enough to know
That when you've bowed
You leave the crowd
There was no pain,
No fear, no doubt
Till they pulled me out of heaven
So that's my refrain.
I live in hell
Cause I've been expelled from heaven
I think I was in heaven
So give me something to sing about
Please give me something...
Spike:
Life's not a song.
Life isn't bliss.
Life is just this: it's living
You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal by living
You have to go on living.
So one of us is living.
15. Where Do We Go From Here/Ending
Fantastiknovelltävlingen 2010 & The Absurdity of The Human Condition
Först en liten hälsning från Arvid Engholm:
Fantastiknovelltävlingen 2010
För elfte året i rad utlyser skrivargruppen SKRIVA, i samarbete med föreningen Novellmästarna, Fantastiknovelltävlingen. Reglerna är enkla:
1. Skicka tävlingsbidrag som ren text (s k ASCII; inga bifogade filer, t ex Word-filer) senast 1 sept till [email protected] SAMT [email protected] . Använd rubrik "tävlingsbidrag".
2. Noveller skall anknyta till science fiction, fantasy eller skräck. Man får skicka flera bidrag. Rekommenderad maxlängd 50 000 tecken (inkl blanksteg och skiljetecken). Språk svenska.
3. Vinnarna utses av en jury. Noveller som placerar sig på någon prisplats postas även på SKRIVA:s E-postlista.
4. Förstapris 500 kr. Andrapris 300 kr. Tredjepris 200 kr. Därutöver kan juryn dela ut hedersomnämnanden.
SKRIVA är troligen den äldsta aktiva E-postlistan för novellförfattare, startad 1997. (För att ansluta, maila [email protected], med subject/ämnesrad: subscribe.) På SKRIVA diskuteras skrivande, fantastik, litteratur och kultur, man kan posta och kommentera noveller, eller tjattra med skrivintresserade. Novellmästarna är en ideell förening med syfte att främja novellkonsten.
NYHET: Genom sponsring från Wela Förlag (stort tack!) kan förstapriset i årets novelltävling höjas - till 1000 kr. Ännu mer skäl att vässa pennorna och gnugga de litterära geniknölarna, alltså!
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Självklart att jag ska vara med i år igen!
Satt faktiskt och funderade kring den för några dagar sedan, eftersom jag inte hade hört något om årets tävling, men nu är det dags att börja skriva så det glöder... Finns inget bättre för inspirationen än en deadline som närmar sig med stormsteg.
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Sen till det jag först hade tänkt skriva i detta blogginlägg:
Tog visserligen halva natten, men äntligen hittade jag hela Cavils programförklaring och inte den nerkortade versionen där bara slutet av hans monolog fanns med. I denna version framstår han som mycket vettigare och inte helt galen, det var faktiskt inte helt hans fel.
Ellen får nog ta åt sig en del av skulden faktiskt, det är ju ändå hon som är "Modern".
Cavil: In all your travels, have you ever seen a star supernova?
Ellen: No.
Cavil: No. Well, I have. I saw a star explode and send out the building blocks of the universe, other stars, other planets, and eventually, other life. a supernova, creation itself. I was there. I wanted to see it, and be a part of the moment. And you know how I perceived one of the most glorious events in the universe? With these ridiculous gelatinous orbs in my skull. With eyes designed to perceive only a tiny fraction of the EM spectrum. With ears designed to only hear vibrations in the air.
Ellen: The five of us designed you to be as human as possible.
Cavil: I don't want to be human. I want to see gamma rays, I want to hear x-rays, and I want to smell dark matter. Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can't even express these things properly, because I have to - I have to conceptualise complex ideas in this stupid, limiting, spoken language. But I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws, and feel the solar wind of a supernova flowing over me. I'm a machine, and I can know much more, I can experience so much more, but I'm trapped in this absurd body. And why? Because my five creators thought that God wanted it that way.
Kiruna-festivalen lördag!
Dagens bästa: 8-Point Rose
Dagens Sämsta: The Playtones (2h paus på en 5h spelning är fan en skandal! Tacj för att ni förstörde avslutningen på en annars mycket trevlig festival! Segern i Dansbandskampen måste gått dem åt huvudet, har aldrig varit med om något liknande tidigare. Det råder annars kutym bland alla andra dansband jag någonsin har dansat till att ha en paus på cirka 30min, sammanlagt!)
Mest överskattad: Kent (Före hade jag hört cirka 2 låtar i hela mitt liv. Nu har jag hört 4. Förstår fortfarande inte?)
Dagens överraskning: Första gången jag blir dumpad på dansgolvet mitt i en låt!
Dagens stolthet: Det Kiruanska Musikundret blir allt större. (Tack Tusen Toner!): Willy Clay Band, Raj Raj Band, 8-point Rose, The Shanes, Frida Snell, människor som heter Timander i efternamn.
Dagens Glädjeämne: Jättetigger i en "Ior-suit" (tänk rösten hos hillbilly-kvinnan i MiB vars man blir uppäten av jättekackerlackan).
Vinner alltid någon nalle, oftast för att jag till slut ger upp och ger mig på något som ger garanterat vinst. Trodde jag skulle vinna något litet som passar i fickan, nädå! En jättenalle som knappt passar i min famn. Bästa kommentar: "Är det tänkt att vi ska konkurrera med den där? Den är ju så söt, det blir väldigt svårt!"
En kort uppdatering angående Kiruna-festivalen.
Dagens Bästa: Nanne & Amy (Allsång till Det Vackraste är den bästa ståpälsen sen Den Kosmiska Orgasmen!)
Största Överraskningen: Amanda Jenssen (Den som spelar Minnie The Moocher som sista extranummer är en underbar människa!)
Mest överskattad: Dead by April
Mesta Kommentaren: "Jocke? Han är nog och dansar."
Dagens Komplimang: "Wow...! Vad bra du är på att dansa!"
Ser mest fram emot imorgon: The Playtones!
Och inte att förglömma: NSD!
Kiruna-festivalen har bara börjat och jag är redan en fjortis!
Ja... Vad säger man?
Det har bara varit torsdag ännu och jag har redan gått hem snurrande på godispåsen som en fjortis och visslat hela vägen hem.
Snacka om en otroligt underbart lyckad danskväll, framförallt eftersom jag fick dansa en massa mysdirtyfox med M, min nya fox-favorit här i stan och en annan favorit från Umeå (som numera tycker att jag är en av hennes favoriter).
Men musiken då, undrar ni säkert?
Ett gemensamt betyg för hela festivalen kommer efter festivalen är slut, det vill säga någon gång på söndag troligast.
Men för att återvända till dansen. Jag hann inte mer än börja ta första buggen med Birgitta Thornéus så står fotografen där med kameran och tar en massa bilder på oss, sen direkt efter dansen är slut hinner jag inte ens gå av dansgolvet så står journalisten där och presenterar sig. Jag säger bara: Läs NSD!
Och det känns rätt kul att en gång i tiden var jag lärlingen, det var ju Tore och Eivor som lärde mig min första dans nämligen foxtrot, och idag är jag mästaren och visade Eivor hur man dansar Dirtyfox.
Dagens två bästa komplimanger var, båda förövrigt efter en underbar foxtrot respektive precis före:
1. "Mmm, vad gott!"
2. "Du är fan den enda här som kan dansa foxtrot!"
Sen skulle jag kunna berätta hur galet mycket folk det var på jobbet idag, årets värsta dag (tydligen ska det vara till och med värre än förra året helgen efter midsommar) och hur sjukt jävla mycket bilar det var när jag cyklade hem från jobbet.
Jag menar, det var bilkö! Det händer bara denna helg på hela året att man ser något sådant i denna stad.
Men jag tror det räcker så.